Making Memories!

I won't lie, there are times when I feel defeated. Tonight, just so happened to be one of those nights. A few phone calls and text messages was all it took to bring me to my knees. I felt like I was sinking into a black hole and there was no way to escape it. But then my kids came into my room in their costumes, getting ready to go trunk-or-treating. I made a decision right then that instead of allowing myself to dwell on the negative, I was going to focus on making memories with my kids.
My oldest is 12 and decided to dress like a nerd. She needed help making suspenders to complete her look. So with some ribbon and creativity, we made some suspenders. My only son is 10 and his costume was a ninja. Of course, he did not need any help. My youngest is 7 and was a bat fairy. She needed help with her make-up. Black eyeliner and purple eye-shadow completed the look to perfection.
Upon completion, we headed off to trunk-or-treat. The kids were so excited that they could barely sit still. When we arrived at the parking lot, they could not get out fast enough. Off they ran to find their cousins. I followed behind them and my husband stayed in the truck talking on his phone. After what seemed like forever, I texted him to come join us in making memories. It took multiple attempts, but he finally joined us. People were still setting up and my husband decided to run back to our house to grab a bucket of candy to join in.
Just as my husband returned, the festivities got under way. My oldest took off with a few of her friends, my son with a few of his. That left my youngest, who decided to also leave us to go around with her cousins. So my husband and I sat on the tailgate of our truck, we laughed at the different costumes that came by. Some were store bought and others made at home. Some were gory, some were cute, and others were extremely creative. We stayed there for just over an hour and then we went to round up our kids.
After we had the three kids loaded into the truck, we headed off to home to make dinner. The youngest wanted to cook the hamburger. It was so cute watching her sit on her stool, stirring the meat and telling her dad that she could do it herself. The oldest shredded some cheese. My son, of course, did not want to help. After it was all ready, we sat down to eat some tacos. Then the night routine of showers started. Then it was the good night kisses and off to bed they went.
Now I am sitting here typing this blog. I am scared of what tomorrow and the future might bring. I am scared that I will be ripped away from my family or that they will be ripped away from me. I know that I would rather be dead than have to live my life without them. My husband is trying to right the wrongs we made, but it seems that for every step forward, we take two steps back. I love my husband, not for what he is doing, but for being him. He is my soul mate. My one true love. I could not picture my life without him in it.